I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
