im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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