You're so nebulous sometimes
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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