your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Randomize
