Small penises have feelings too.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
