i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
