good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
