When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
