I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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