I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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