omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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