any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
