I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
