Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
