Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You don't make any sense
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