Your dad touched me again.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
