awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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