Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
