My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
