Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
