$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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