just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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