Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
