is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
my being single is dangerous.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
