is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
