i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
