Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
