I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
