She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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