Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
this boner is exhausting
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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