i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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