sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Small penises have feelings too.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
