summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
