now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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