He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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