Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The power of my boobs compel you
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
