i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
