I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
