she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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