I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
