with your own penis?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
