everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
