My nipple is on Facebook.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
