just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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