Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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