what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i dont even know how to be here
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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