Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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