I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
