It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
