So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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